High Heels and Dirty Dishes # 13

I would really like to know when my life went from I don’t know what I should do today, to not being sure if I brushed my teeth or if I put a bra on because I didn’t have time. For the love of God my life has to slow down a little bit. It is 11:30 at night, and my mind is swarming on all sorts of stuff that I should be doing. The most important thing is that I leave for our annual Bjerklie girl’s trip to Apple Fest in the morning, a mind free laughter weekend with two moms and their daughters. Don’t expect stories to appear in this column. I know my place in this world, and well in this case it is to SHUT MY MOUTH. It’s not a Girls Gone Wild weekend, but is not an Amish quilting gathering either. I guess I am going to have to leave it to your imagination, cause in the case Vomit Mouth and Allie Enge can’t be used in the same sentence. I can tell you that we all exchange gifts and mine is pretty cool. They are all getting screen printed tees with my High Heels and Dirty Dishes logo, and the back there is different sayings for each one. My mom’s shirt says “Go braless, it will pull the wrinkles right out of your face”. I am sure that she won’t talk to me for a couple of days after she reads that I wrote about it. I asked her today if she liked my article from last week and her words, “Well I am still talking to you”. I like I mine too, it says “May you live long enough to poop yourself”, but the “S” word was actually used. I laughed so hard when I saw that saying I had to cross my legs. I think that it was very fitting! No new drama with my kids this week, so either I am doing a better job of zoning them out or they have been sick without me knowing it. My son did tell me this week that he is going to start writing about me, and I told him to go for it. Anything to get that kid to write in complete sentences has me excited. When you put it that way I have a feeling that if I don’t watch it Keisha and Janice are going to fight back and start their own column about me. This time there will not be any “Fake” names. Even though I am honest, there is a lot that they could bury me with. They definitely know way too much about me for me to ever think about ending our friendship. Don’t pretend you don’t know what I am talking about, we all have friends like that. I did have a couple of tough days this week, and when I get upset or discouraged I feel the symptoms of my stroke so strongly. I just want to be normal, I want to remember where I put my keys, my phone, to turn off the oven, where I set down my purse, and so on. I feel like my Grandma Rose looking for her false teeth every morning. It is hard for those that live with me, and it is really hard not having a mental breakdown. I want to be normal, I want to feel that I am not a burden, that I am someone that people want to be around instead of being known as the one that is really forgetful. Not fun and it is starting to wear on my self-esteem. As much as we want people in life to like us, I just want to be able to wake in the morning and not have to tell myself that today is going to be a better day, that I am going to get better, and that I am not going to feel worthless because of my inability to remember even the simplest things. You see my life isn’t always about High Heels and Dirty Dishes. Most of the time I have no idea where the other heel is, and the dishes are usually in the dishwasher because I hate unloading it. Until next week my friends. Allison Enge www.facebook.com/highheelsanddirtydishesbyallie